boy they sure can be pricks;
but we both know they can't touch me,
'cause I'm on prop 36!
______________________
The Meth Freak
(To the tune of Monty Python’s “Lumberjack song”)
I’m a meth-freak, and I’m Okay,
I’m up all night and I sleep for days.
I’ll do a line, I’ll smoke a bowl,
My needles we can share;
I’ve got no life, I’ve got no job,
Thank god I’m on welfare!
I’m a meth-freak, and I’m Okay,
I’m up all night and I sleep for days.
I do my meth, I skip and jump,
I like to scratch my sores.
The meth takes all my money,
So I’ll have to be content with yours!
I’m a meth-freak, and I’m Okay,
I’m up all night and I sleep for days.
I do my meth, I eat my lunch,
If I have real food I’ll choke.
On Wednesdays, I go shoppin’,
And has Cheetos with my coke!
I’m a meth-freak, and I’m Okay,
I’m up all night and I sleep for days.
I do my meth, I lose more teeth,
My trailer is condemned,
My life is one big rat-trap,
At least I’ve got TV!
I’m a meth-freak, and I’m Okay,
I’m up all night and I sleep for days.
I do my meth, it makes me scratch,
I’m old before my time!
Although I just turned 30,
They say I look 99!
I’m a meth-freak, and I’m Okay,
I’m up all night and I sleep for days.
My P.O. made me pee,
Late last night I got busted,
I got to ride a cop-car,
I wish I’d been a pot-head,
Just like my dear Grand-Mar!
______________________________________
(to the tune of "Tie a yellow ribbon")
I'm coming home, I've done my time,
Don’t know what to do with this life of mine.
If you received my letter telling you I would soon be free,
Then you will know what to do,
If you'll still help me.
Doc, I got this aching back and a swollen knee,
I've got so many hurts, will you please help me?
Don't want no job - it ain't the life for me.
I live in a bus,
with my dog named gus,
oh my life is stressing me,
Is there a doc out there willing to help old me?
Oh doctor please help me!
Cause I can't bear the pain deep inside of me.
I'm really still in prison, but dock you still hold the key!
But only the right kind of doc can really set me free!
So he wrote and told me please:
Try a 215 card, you'll feel good you'll see,
Lak a coon-dog feels scratchin' fer a flea!
It'll cure all your ills without takin' pills!
Just stay on the weed, forget about life
& put the blame on me!
Oh, yes a 215 card will set you free!
Now all me friends are cheering,
cause there ain't nothin' wrong with me!
It was all a pack of lies, but cops can't touch me!
Yes try a 215 card and feel good like me!!!
____________________________
on the serious side:
NO MONEY IN MY POCKETS
I was a straight A student
Until the age of fifteen
One year later
I met a lady named Nadine.
She was twenty-nine
Four kids, and one on the way
She introduced me to drugs
And this virgin she did lay.
Several years later
She said I was a slob
Felonies on my record
Now I can’t get a job
I thought that she loved me
But she said she made a mistake
The bitch eventually left me
The kids she did not take
No food in the frig
The rent I can’t pay
No money in my pockets
But the meth is on its way.
I am loving life
I’m getting laid
Nadine’s sixteen-year-old daughter
Loves to get paid.
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